[SPARK-52346][SDP] Fix counter initialization and increment logic for flow retries

[JiaqiWang18]

What changes were proposed in this pull request?

Fixes flow failure counter increments by switching to updateWith. This prevents first increment from throwing NoSuchElementException when key does not exist.

Why are the changes needed?

Current impl flowToNumConsecutiveFailure(flowIdentifier) throws exception when a flow is retried for first time:

java.util.NoSuchElementException: key not found: `spark_catalog`.`test_db`.`mv`
	at scala.collection.MapOps.default(Map.scala:289)
	at scala.collection.MapOps.default$(Map.scala:288)
	at scala.collection.AbstractMap.default(Map.scala:420)
	at scala.collection.MapOps.apply(Map.scala:176)
	at scala.collection.MapOps.apply$(Map.scala:175)
	at scala.collection.AbstractMap.apply(Map.scala:420)
	at org.apache.spark.sql.pipelines.graph.GraphExecution.incrementFlowToNumConsecutiveFailure(GraphExecution.scala:52)
	at org.apache.spark.sql.pipelines.graph.GraphExecution.$anonfun$planAndStartFlow$1(GraphExecution.scala:92)
	at org.apache.spark.sql.pipelines.graph.GraphExecution.$anonfun$planAndStartFlow$1$adapted(GraphExecution.scala:90)
	at scala.concurrent.impl.Promise$Transformation.run(Promise.scala:484)
	at java.base/java.util.concurrent.ThreadPoolExecutor.runWorker(ThreadPoolExecutor.java:1136)
	at java.base/java.util.concurrent.ThreadPoolExecutor$Worker.run(ThreadPoolExecutor.java:635)
	at java.base/java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:840)

Does this PR introduce any user-facing change?

No

How was this patch tested?

Run pipeline manually with flow failure to test.

Was this patch authored or co-authored using generative AI tooling?

No

[JiaqiWang18]

@SCHJonathan @gengliangwang for review, thanks!

[JiaqiWang18]

Also @anishm-db